Here’s the phrase I hear constantly:
“Aren’t you excited?”
I know that sounds weird to say. It’s not everyday that you move to Italy. But truthfully, I’m anxious.
My month at home in Pennsylvania has been more wonderful than I expected. Here are some highlights:
- I ran a half marathon with a dear high school friend, and saw my younger sister finish her first full marathon.
- I spent time with several other high school friends, and traveled to Meadville to spend the day with a dear college friend.
- My mother and I drove to Rochester, NY for a few days, to spend time with my aunt, cousins, and extended family.
- My parents spoiled me with home-cooked meals, including my father’s freshly baked bread and smoked goodies (he makes amazing BBQ pulled pork).
- I saw my niece and 3 nephews play sports: soccer, baseball, and softball. I must have gone to at least 20 games.
- My father and I kayaked down the Clarion River (see photo above).
- I ran several times on backroads, and had the pleasure of greeting two Amish men as they passed by in their horse and buggy (they replied by saying “hi” and tipping their straw hats).
But most of all, I got to spend an entire month with my family, staying with my parents, and getting to see my older sister, brother in-law, and niece and nephews on a regular basis. Sure, I’ve been home for visits, but I think the longest amount of time I spent at home was a week. This entire month was such a gift, and now the thought of not having them around sends me to tears. That makes it hard to be excited. Instead, I’m choosing to focus my time and energy on them until I get on the plane.
Another reason I’m not excited is because for the past few weeks, I’ve been second-guessing myself and my decision. Why am I going over there without a job? Is this a waste of time? Am I better off saving my money and searching for a job regionally, or back in San Francisco? Then I think about how far I’ve come in my planning, and how I would feel if I DIDN’T go. That usually helps ground me and bring me back to why I made this decision.
I know that once I step on that plane, the excitement will start to appear. Until then, I’m going to enjoy every last remaining minute with my family, and stay present.